Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

My soul is downcast within me; therefore, I will remember you…

Psalm 42:5 & 6 NIV

Here it comes. It feels like a dark cloud trying to envelope me. I get busier willing myself to outrun it, ignore it, not give in to it. But, before I know it – anxiety, panic, temper tantrums, and sheer exhaustion set in. I begin to flounder.

I seriously do not get it. Life, although with its normal challenges, has been going fairly well. I feel like I have been doing the “right” things. Why now?

I go to my Bible, but five minutes later cannot for the life of me remember what I read. I try prayerful meditation, but my mind goes all over the planet. I cannot seem to reign it in. Why can I not remember those scriptures I memorized?

Interestingly enough, in the midst of it all, like the sun trying to peak around a dark cloud I feel the presence of God. All of the sudden, on the radio, on podcasts, in books, I find out about other Christians going through similar experiences.

The message I keep receiving – STOP. Stop trying to fix it. Stop trying to put a band-aide on it. Stop trying to eat it away. Stop trying to ignore it. Just stop.

Turn the TV off, set the phone aside, shed the distractions and take a deep breath. Give the slump to God. He might direct me to seek medical attention or counseling. Maybe just resting in him will renew my soul. I will not know for sure until I stop.

I have no trouble praising him in the positives. Why should I not rest in him with the negatives as well? Let God do the work instead of me running around like a chicken with its head cut off.   

Father, when a slump tries to defeat me, with my downcast soul, help me to remember you.

Susan Partida