When Doubts Creep In

“Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts?”                   

  Luke 24:38 ESV

Doubts creep into my mind as quickly as weeds pop up in my flowerbeds.

I doubt my abilities, faith, feelings, God, and thoughts. Sometimes they are fleeting, but usually they result in anxiety.

Growing up in a rural neighborhood with many kids of all ages, we regularly played games in our neighbors’ yards on cool summer evenings.  I had a few close girlfriends and went to their homes to play dress-up and board games.

I doubted my normalcy, so I didn’t invite friends to my home. Neither did my brothers or my parents. We didn’t discuss it. We knew we were culturally different and had unhealthy family dynamics.

Naturally, asking friends over to my college dorm room or apartment when I was older was difficult.  When I married, my nerves and doubts escalated when my husband invited someone over for dinner—even good friends from church. I doubted my conversation, cooking, and cleaning skills.

We did have others for dinner occasionally, but not without tremendous angst on my part. I worried and imagined the worst outcomes. How could I engage in perfect conversations and have a perfect home and meal? My doubts and fears often resulted in procrastination, so I threw piles of clothes into the washing machine and dirty dishes into the oven.

Such stress. Forty-some years later, I open my home and try to be confident in God’s work in me. I’m able to laugh about mishaps. Comparison to others kindles the flames of doubt, so I focus on helping my guests feel comfortable. Replacement of striving for self-confidence with confidence in God is my goal.

For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught (Proverbs 3:26).

The world around me shouts the opposite. But I want God to get the credit. God-confidence casts out self-doubt. Remembering that I am His encourages me to keep placing my trust in Him.

Karen Sims