Parenting Adult Children

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.

Galatians 6:1

Recently, I met with a young mother. As I listened to her share how she is parenting her children, I was struck by her wisdom. It became evident that she and her husband are leading their children according to godly principles.

God’s Word instructs us, Train a child in the way he should go… (Proverbs 22:6). It is the God-given task of every mother and father to teach their young children godly principles and lovingly train them to follow those principles through encouragement and discipline. 

But what is the role of a parent after a child becomes an adult? 1 Kings 1 tells the story of King David and his son, Adonijah. David was older. It seems he had little involvement in kingdom procedures. It also appears he had little involvement in family affairs. 

Adonijah determined to usurp the throne, but David was God’s anointed king. And so, regardless of what David was or wasn’t doing as king, to attempt to take the throne was rebellion against God. A sad detail is given about David’s parenting of Adonijah. His father had never interfered with him by asking, “Why do you behave as you do?”  (1 Kings 1:6). Obviously, Adonijah had previously rebelled, but David never interfered. He didn’t address Adonijah’s sin, nor hold him accountable. 

What are we parents to do when adult children rebel against God? Do we sometimes adopt the philosophy of David and think I don’t want to interfere? After our children become adults, we parents no longer have the responsibility of disciplining them. That is God’s responsibility. But Galatians 6:1 instructs us to seek to restore wayward believers to godliness. And so, we must seek to restore our adult children to godliness. Restoration includes acknowledging the sin and lovingly coming alongside our children with words of truth, encouragement, and support that will help lead them toward repentance.  

Lord, give us wisdom and courage to speak your truth as we parent our adult children.

Jan