Perspectives: Appearances

Do good to your servant according to your word, O Lord. Teach me knowledge and good judgment, for I believe in your commands.

Psalm 119:65, 66

I was reared by two terrific parents, but shaped by two very special ladies: my mother and my aunt. They were good cooks, immaculate housekeepers, active churchwomen, popular with their friends, kind to neighbors and stylish dressers whose hair and make-up were always in place before they stepped out the door. 

They are both gone, but if I asked them to rate these attributes in order of importance there would be no doubt that the last would be first. While neither of them had wealth, they both loved clothes and shopping. Right up until the end, my mother was up and out the door if you mentioned Marshalls, and her ability to sniff out a bargain never faded.

But inevitably there is a downside to everything. Both of them also had great confidence in the superiority of their taste. More than once when we were shopping, my aunt would pull me behind a clothes rack and point out someone who was wearing a tasteless outfit or an ugly hat. Looking back those are warm and funny memories; but did I mention who trained me?

My whole life I have struggled with those old tapes. Then, many years ago, someone shared with me a favorite saying that has proved to be a great help. It is “There is no disputation in matters of taste.” I wish I could tell you that it is from Scripture, but it turns out to be an old Latin saying. Still true.

Learning to separate what is and what is not a matter of taste has helped me so much in deactivating those old perspectives and defusing the judgmental attitude they encourage. What we wear, what color our hair is, how we dress our children and decorate our homes, the way we prepare our food, and a thousand other decisions we have the freedom to make all come down to our greater freedom in Christ.

Freedom, however, can be a tricky matter. And how we look on the outside does matter as it impacts our Christian witness. That is both the line in the sand and the perspective from which we should just all our choices, including our necklines and the length of our hem.

Nancy Shirah