Melancholy Moments

When they saw Him, they worshipped Him; but some doubted.”

Matthew 28:17

When clearing the leaves and limbs that litter my yard, I often uncover Garden spiders. They quickly scurry to new hiding places when exposed to the light. One day as they ran for cover, I realized other things can also hide, things like losses.

When I uncover one of those losses, I am tempted to shoo it back into hiding. I doubt God’s ability to heal. I am also tempted to doubt that He will instill hope for a better tomorrow.

Apparently, I am not alone in this doubting vulnerability. When the disciples saw the resurrected Jesus, they worshipped him, but "some doubted" (Matt. 28:17b). I wonder what must have influenced their doubt—grief, failure to grasp Jesus’ prophecy of rising from the dead, or expectations of a ruling Messiah rather than a servant Messiah?

Perhaps, like the disciples, my limited understanding fuels my doubting. My expectations might also fail to align with Jesus’ strategy for rescuing my heart. For times like these, I am drawn to an observation by Jim Denison,

“As long as we are fallen people living in a fallen world, we will struggle with the questions about our faith. But we can worship even as we doubt, knowing that the former (worship) will help us deal with the latter (doubt)*.”

After acknowledging my doubts, I am learning how to step into God’s mercies and out of my melancholy moments. I can choose to trust in Jesus’ resurrected presence for my today and for my tomorrows. I can also choose, in faith, to worship!

Father, thank You for rescuing my heart during times of uncertainty. Thank You for revealing that the disciples also doubted. Show me how to worship for directing my heart into Your faithfulness. Lead me to the acceptance of Your plan for rescuing for my heart. In Your Son’s name, Jesus, I pray, amen.

Linda Lesniewski

Matthew, A Guide to Genuine Discipleship, Denison Forum Guides