Trusting Jesus in the Midst of Disappointment

I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

Psalm 91:2

I taught writing to 4th graders. Showing 9-year-olds they have stories to tell and how to put words on paper was fun and rewarding. Except for the state-mandated test. 

Every year it was a challenge to find the best way to teach for success. My personal goal was to have 90% of my students pass this test which, for years, had been unreachable. 

This particular year was exciting because the Lord answered many prayers throughout the months and gave me wisdom in my teaching. The students were thriving. I was excited to see how they would do. 

When writing for the state, students have to exactly address the prompt, write the correct style (which means it’s an essay, not a story), and write about one topic. If students missed any of these requirements, it meant an automatic failing score.

That year, in the essay, students were to share ONE reason they liked a teacher. As I monitored, I saw their planning sheets and my heart fell. 75% of students wrote about THREE reasons they liked their teacher, not just one. I struggled to keep tears from welling up for the entire day and I questioned God.

Why, Lord? We worked so hard and now only 25% of my students will pass this test.

Tears came as I drove home that afternoon. The words of the song on the radio caught my attention:

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing you to move,

When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through,

When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to you, 

I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!*

God was calling me to trust Him. Okay, Lord. I am choosing to trust You even though my feelings are hurt and I don’t understand. Help me remember that my worth does not come from how many of my students pass a test. My worth comes from You because you love me. 

How about you? In what circumstance is Jesus calling you to trust Him? 

*Trust in You by Lauren Daigle

Johna Clemons