Holding Them at Arm’s Length

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Colossians 3:13

I rented a cabin on Lake Catherine in Arkansas for a week to spend time with the Lord and work through a challenging time in life. I searched for a study to guide my time with Him. So, one evening, I stood in between the shelves of LifeWay, praying for the Lord to show me which book to pick. 

A light from the ceiling shined on a particular book (God had provided His guidance this way before, so it got my attention). I picked up Life’s Healing Choices by John Baker, read the back, and knew this was the one He wanted me to choose.

Through this study, God showed me how I held my relationships at arm’s length because of the hurts I experienced as a child and early adulthood. He guided me through the activities and journaling inspired by this author (who I found out later was the founder of Celebrate Recovery). It helped me release the hurts and forgive the offenders. It was a freeing experience; one where I felt the weight literally released from my shoulders. I felt light and free for the first time in my life. 

It is amazing what forgiveness did for my relationships, even the ones that needed no forgiveness. The freedom I found made room for love and acceptance of others’ flaws as well as my own. 

Think about the relationships in your life. Are they as close and fulfilling as you want them to be? If not, ask the Lord to show you the reasons. Sometimes it has to do with us, and sometimes it doesn’t. 

If it is you, ask the Lord to show you why. There are many reasons this could be the case. Is it a matter of unforgiveness or needing to be set free from past hurts? 

Ask Him to help you gain your freedom. That is a prayer He longs to answer for you. After all, that is why He came in the first place. 

Lord, thank you for longing to set us free. Help us to look to you to find healing and restoration. 

Johna Clemons