Bearing with One Another

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another…

Colossians 3:12-13a (ESV)

26 phone calls.  Calls from my sister-in-law, Glenda, during the week leading up to my older brother’s death in May 2020. 

Ernie suffered through Congestive Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) for seven years. He fought valiantly while isolated in his basement in Colorado. 

He and Glenda were married nearly forty-three years. We weren’t close to each other—physically or emotionally.

In recent years, during trips from Texas, we progressed relationally but encounters with them remained strained.

Glenda was desperate for a miracle while Ernie lay in the hospital connected 24/7 to oxygen in hopes of clearing his depleted lungs of pneumonia. 

She knew that I prayed. She asked me to pray. I prayed for them. She rejected my prayers for herself. Glenda’s concern was for Ernie to live. She feared being alone.

So many questions. “Should I stop his treatment or not?” “Should I move him to another hospital?” Sometimes she sounded hopeful that he would go home soon.  The next phone call she was hysterical that he was slipping away. I listened and remained calm.

Words of comfort were inadequate. She leaned on me and confessed that her faith in God was small. I assured her that the size of her faith did not matter, but rather in whom her faith was placed. 

Ernie could not hold on any longer and gently told Glenda that, while verbalizing his love. He passed peacefully with her and his daughter by his bedside. 

The months since then have been sorrowful. Glenda calls frequently and describes her pain, loss, and anxiety in detail. I have never had someone walk through their grief experience with me. We weep together. My prayers continue. I’ve learned to love more selflessly.

In July, my father-in-law died suddenly, and I grieve for and with my husband and his sister. 

Bearing with one another knows no time frame and manifests differently according to the need. Who needs you right now?

God, keep me faithful.

Karen Sims