Paralyzed by Fear

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

2 Corinthians 3:18 (ESV)

Words. Typed. On. The. Screen.

Whew! What a huge relief!

After agonizing procrastination over writing these devotionals, words formed on the page in obedience to God. I prayed for His message to be my words so that women may be encouraged.

But God, I don’t let anyone see my writing, my thoughts churned.

Just be obedient, Karen. Follow through and complete what I have called you to do, God seemed to whisper.

This confession barely skims the surface of my turmoil and paralysis when it comes to writing. Wrestling doubts, battling the fear of failure, and the self-imposed pressure to perform are ingrained in my flesh. At the same time, I have an intense desire and passion to communicate what I’ve learned and suffered in order to benefit others.

But Jonah rose up to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the LORD. So he went down to Joppa, … from the presence of the LORD (Jonah 1:3 NASB).

Jonah fled from God in fear and rebellion. My fear may look better on the outside—because I haven’t left town. Trust me, my anxiety and unbelief are real.

John Piper, in his book, Future Grace, boldly states, “pride is a form of unbelief and does not like to trust in future grace. Faith admits the need for help. Pride won’t. Faith banks on God to give help. Pride won’t.”

It’s also been said that we become what we behold, and 2 Corinthians 3:18 clearly conveys that truth.

A Humble Prayer, by an Unknown Slave

“O God,

I ain’t what I want to be;

I ain’t what I ought to be;

I ain’t what I’m gonna be,

But, thank God,

I ain’t what I used to be.”

Lord, Today, I admit my need for help. May I look intently on you and become more like you.

Karen Sims