“Behold, I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him; he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him. But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold.” Job 23:8–10 ESV

In August 2015, a joyful anticipation of what I thought my college years would look like was shattered into a disheartening reality when the words You’ve been cut from the process pierced my heart through a phone call during the sorority recruitment process. My hopes and dreams for the perfect college years were snatched from me in seconds.

I was left with a choice to stay stuck in sorrow and doubt God or choose worship amidst the heartache. The question: why, God? was an overwhelming reality.

In a very different context, Job faced a similar choice and question. Job had experienced a magnitude of loss that made no sense, but he wrestled through pain in a way that led to worship. He expressed his honest emotions to God, sought faithful obedience in godliness, and declared what He knew to be true of the character of God even in long suffering.

Like Job, I tend to wrestle with doubting God’s presence when pain comes my way. It can easily cloud my view of God’s omnipresence. I want to press through pain by my own will power. But, suffering calls us out of dependence on self and into confident dependence on God’s and His deliverance.

Suffering is an anvil on which solid joy in God is formed. This joy is cultivated in worship, which is not masked happiness or disengaged reading of God’s Word. Worship in suffering is honest emotions expressed to God in prayer- it is showing up each day to meditate on the treasure of His very words in Scripture even when we do not feel like it.

How will you choose to worship amidst pain? What truth about God can you declare?

Ashley Upchurch

Women’s Ministry Intern