“… for it is exceedingly bitter to me… that the hand of the LORD has gone out against me. Do not call me Naomi, call me Mara [bitter], for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me.” 

Ruth 1:13,20 (ESV)

Two names. Three times bitter. One heart.

Naomi means sweet. Mara means bitter. 

Naomi asked her friends to call her Mara after her husband and two sons died through God’s providence. I’ve often chosen bitterness from much less adversity.

Do we believe that God chooses better for us than what we could possibly choose for ourselves? Why would he allow such tragedy? He doesn’t always answer that question for us.

The last thing I expected while participating in our church’s live-streaming worship service one Sunday during the coronavirus pandemic was to be confronted gently, yet directly with my bitter spirit. But that happened. The divine power and presence of the Holy Spirit mustn’t be undervalued. Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways (Romans 11:33 NASB)!

God got my attention and let me know that when I kept my heart softened to his Word, he could speak to me using any method he desired. I was skeptical. But God… I recognized my bitterness toward him. I admitted it and wept as I turned to face him. He heard my cry and uprooted the caustic shoots lodged within. 

I continue to learn from that Sunday morning sermon combined with some writings of John Piper. God is sovereign; He has the right and power to do all that He decides to do. God is providential; He is wise and purposeful in his right and power. God’s providence must be properly understood. A misunderstanding of God’s providence can lead us to bitterness. God’s providence must be rightly applied. God’s providence must be rightly surrendered to quickly. Naomi struggled with God’s providence. She couldn’t see him through the tragedy. What about you?

Heavenly Father, may we trust you with everything you allow into our lives.

Karen Sims